I'm a better mom than you......

haven't we all thought that once or twice watching another mother "mothering" her child(ren)? I know a couple women who are like this. I can literally see it in their eyes as they watch my boys eat....oh my gosh- COOKIE! Or I can hear them "Tsk, tsk" when I mention that the boys sat and watched a movie in the middle of the day. Oh I can go ON and ON.....but really I just don't care what people think of my "mothering." I really don't. I only hope that our BOYS think that I'm a GREAT mom (ok and Bill, but I know he thinks that already)

I hear some women talk and bitch about how hard motherhood is and how they never have "me time" and all they do is yell at their kids. On and ON. Now, I have days where I feel that all I have done is yell(and maybe I did!!!!!)but I've stopped making myself feel sooo bad about it. If I have a day where I hear myself starting to yell a lot or I have raised my voice a lot then I make a joke of it to the boys and say I'm sorry for yelling, smother their chubby, handsome faces with big kisses and forget about it! I do. I'm trying harder to not stress about the little things and stop beating myself over the head for stuff that I do or maybe DIDN'T do. I look at it this way. The other day I took Drew to school and didn't feel like going home and nothing was open yet at 9am so I looked at Nick and said "Bubba, do you want a muffin?" I took Nicks screams of pure joy and clapping of his hands as a "Yes!" so drove into Sherwood Park and slipped into the Timmy's parking lot and got my little guy out and we walked into Timmys. Nick stood in line holding my hand, looking around and screamed "Donuts Mama, donut!!" Then he wanted up in my arms because people were smiling at him. So I got lots of hugs! Ya, he was cute.

I loved sitting with my baby at a table for 2. Eating muffins, drinking, chocolate milk and a DOUBLE DOUBLE. I told Nick how much I love hanging out with him (as I tell Drew also) he smiled at me so sweetly as he rubbed his greasy hands up and down all over the window. I didn't even tell him to stop running his hands up and down the window. I know, BAD, BAD "mothering". As I was getting his coat back on him and walking to the van I remembered how often my mom took me out for donuts, chocolate milk and coffee. Just me and her. I loved it. well my whole point of the Timmys story is that after Nick and I had our date we headed over to a scrapbook store so I could buy a couple things to buy for a scrapbook page I'm doing and actually spent MAYBE $20 WITHOUT feeling guilty. Bill and I are trying to stick to a budget and have been doing really well. We do the whole WANT or NEED thing. I just didn't worry about it. I had a great visit with Nicky. He was happy playing in the scrapbook store's kid area while I looked around NOT feeling guilty! Then we headed back to pick up Drew AND I wasn't there ON THE DOT as I uaually am. I was there at 11:05 am instead of 11:00 (class gets out at 11:10) AND I didn't even say "sorry" to myself!!!

Why are we so hard on ourselves and other mothers? I know some people believe that once you become a parent they have to become boring, wear granny panties, never have a drink again (OK I'm judging, with a little sarcasim added in) NOT me. I tattooed my ankle (it's a "I'm EMBRACING my large ankles" thing. I have large ankles) I did it really because I have always wanted one, wasn't sure WHAT I wanted and was too scared of the pain. THEN I had two children- boys at that! I figured that if I was able to push out a baby for 3 hours, tear like paper ( sorry dad!) lose large amounts of blood (again, sorry dad) and go through the PAIN of breastfeding for 4 months and then 2 yrs later go through a c-section and get an infection the least I can handle is TATTOO I mean REALLY! The brow peircing, always wanted one so I did it. I deserve it! And I know some people think it is a "reliving my youth" Not at all. It's just me starting to get the nerve to do some thing's I've always wanted to do. Being married to Bill has made become this way because Bill loves to take chances. Sometimes he says that I think "too much" about something and I have to agree. I guess that is one thing being married does to you. It brings out some of the other person in you.I've also want to skydive........

So, do I wish I could get a "me day" no, because I have a husband who pushes me to do it. Often. And then calls me while I'm out to see if I'm having fun. I used to feel kinda guilty doing the "me thing" and now I don't but that just stopped this year. Now I have fun and enjoy it. Sometimes motherhood is challenging and I will question myself but I just don't think it's as hard as some make it out to be at least for me. I do have good boys though. YES, sometimes I DO pop in a movie for the boys while I veg on the couch after a long day of reading stories, playing with play-doh, crafts, laundry, making lunches, reffing fights, nursing wounds and I don't feel guilty.